Mother will deny the following statement, but I can assure you that I was an ugly child. I had  braces, a fringe and was ravaged by pimples.

Need I say more.

Read more about my character-building adolescence here: http://birdeemag.com/i-was-an-ugly-child/

This is Sandy the water monster and ex-cannibal from Monkey Magic. Apparently I looked like him.