Tonight we fly. London, what ho!

In an attempt to assimilate I’ll be calling everyone ‘old bean’ and slapping strangers on the back and saying ‘how the devil are you?!’  The aim is to return to Australia sounding like an antiquated English butler.

‘Very good, sir.’

If one scrabble game takes approximately 70 minutes, then 20 games of scrabble should get us there no sweat. Unfortunately we don’t have travel scrabble.

Alternatively, we do have 25 Temazepams and 4 Valiums . If I wake up in Siberia wearing a pokemon suit and ‘free Tibet’ tattooed onto my knuckles, you’ll know something went terribly wrong and please call my Mum and don’t tell Dad.

A small and naive part of me hopes that we’ll be upgraded. Or that we can can wrangle the exit row seats. I’ve been told to stand up straight and tall at baggage check in, and to casually remark on how long and lithe our legs are while pushing a box of premium chocolates across the desk. Subtle.

We have done our online check-in. Unfortunately, poor Dennis Wongbert got terribly confused and purchased an online chicken off the Googles.

Chumley Chicken arrived on Saturday and is settling in well. Chumley was relieved to find the Wongbert coop pecking order  was very straight forward: Dennis is team leader and Dennis’ motto is ‘large and in charge’.