Dennis is my imaginary  sausage dog. Brilliant, precocious, ill-tempered and loveable he will occasionally be guest blogging under ‘Paws for Thought’.

Dennis is also a life coach and agony uncle. He will happily answer any questions you may have on love, life and sausages, so please direct all enquiries to: denniswongbert@gmail.com

Following is a short introduction on the boy wonder. Here is also a snap shot of a day in the life of Dennis.

Full name: Dennis Galen Wongbert

Pen name: Barking Woof

Chinese name: Deng Xiao Wongbert

Age: 3

Occupation: Single mother, wellness coach, agony uncle, freelance exorcist, feng shui consultant

Religion: The Easter Bunny

Siblings: A cat named CCC (Colin Charles Carruthers)

Favourite food: Sausages, Coke, refried beans

Favourite phrase: “Because reasons” and “chocolate wombats!” (or “choc woms!”,  an expression of surprise)

Favourite politician: Penny Wong(bert), Vladimir Pootin

Likes: Scabs, poo forensics, yodelling, One Direction, mathematics, violin, cuddling, colouring pencils, singing ‘happy birthday’, ants, feng shui, talking through a vacuum cleaner pipe

Dislikes: Tuna, nappy rash, helmet hair, thunder

Extra curricular activities: PM host on Radio Bing Bong

Friendly with: The neighbourhood squirrels, Crawford Crowe the crow, (soft toy) Simon Sausage

Love of his life: Mrs Dalinda Meowgi (not reciprocated)

Latest love: Mittens McGonagall