Here’s an article I wrote for SBS Life about how I almost got scurvy. The challenges of new motherhood are well documented, but Kelly Eng hadn’t counted on malnutrition being among them until her own bun was out of the oven. I had my first baby seven months ago. Prior to the little poppet’s arrival, […]
In the aftermath of the execution of Moley Cyrus, here is what we know -Moley Cyrus was executed at 3.15pm today. He received the last rites at 2pm -For his last meal, he chose seared scallops with burnt butter and pancetta lardons, beef fillet on potato rosti with a red wine jus and a golden […]
Moley d’Anger Cyrus 1964 – 2017 Dear family and friends, I am writing to let you know that Paul, my partner and possible father of my child, will be undergoing major surgery tomorrow afternoon. At 3.15pm, his lifelong companion and parasite, Moley, will be involuntarily euthanased. This terrible circumstance has come to pass as Paul […]
Hi there, Here’s an article I wrote for Gourmet Traveller about working on my friend’s food truck. It was kind of him to let me near his crusty buns. Please note – I’m not a millennial. I was Gen Y in the original text, but the editors must have deemed me too old chook… Enjoy. Bok bok! […]
You like blood? You like guts? You like nudity? Well here’s a birth story for you. At 8.30pm on the 25th of August, my partner and I were organising a hard rubbish collection. As we dragged a couch, chunks of wood and a few broken chairs out to the curb, I felt a slight twang […]
*Warning: some nudity involved. Kristina, of Kristina Kingston Photography, was looking for a pregnant woman to photograph. I must have been the only pregnant woman available within a 400,000 kilometre radius of her studio and by default, became the chosen one. Kristina wanted to channel that iconic photograph of Demi Moore from the front cover of […]
Friday was a busy day. Opened my birthday presents in the morning and had a baby in the afternoon. Father is resting peacefully and deriving comfort from icepacks and hydrogel breast discs on his grazed nipples. Obstetrician and ward staff are seeking compensation for perforated eardrums. Baby – Holly Nina Hines – is of middling […]
