Last night my partner had a dream. No, it wasn’t that ‘one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed’, though that would have been good. It was that the entire bedroom was suddenly flooded with sea water! Ocean creatures from near and far were crowding into the bedroom: porpoises, […]
Mother went to see Swan Lake the other night. Presented by the prestigious St Petersburg Ballet, the production has been called “lavish” and “solid” with “extravagant costumes”. Though apparently the bloke dancers were a bit average. Here are Mother’s thoughts on the production: Food and beverage: The $12.95 steak meal deal she ate beforehand at Crown Casino was good. […]
Don Strasburg is an unfashionable luncheon meat. Pallid, fatty and looking very much like an ulcerated leg, it’s the Jason Donovan of processed meats. Strasburg – which is actually a melange of ground pork, chicken and beef – cannot compete with sexy prosciutto or luscious leg ham but long ago, I used to eat it all the time. For some unknown […]
When I was small, Dad used to do the occasional international work trip. He was unimpressed with most places that weren’t Glen Waverley (his take on Germany was that eating too many sausages gives you pimples); however, one place he was impressed with was Japan. Here is Dad in the mid-eighties (note the enormous helmet of […]
Yesterday, on my lunch break, I walked by a blind man. The man was calling out ‘hello, hello?!’ and so I did the civic thing and asked if he needed help. He did. His seeing eye dog, Fischer, was malfunctioning. Fischer seemed to have forgotten his position description and was busy sniffing leaves, chasing his […]
Mother will deny the following statement, but I can assure you that I was an ugly child. I had braces, a fringe and was ravaged by pimples. Need I say more. Read more about my character-building adolescence here: http://birdeemag.com/i-was-an-ugly-child/ This is Sandy the water monster and ex-cannibal from Monkey Magic. Apparently I looked like him.
Cockney Rhyming slang originated in the mid-19th century in London’s East End. Rhyming slang was thought to have started among the lower classes as a secret language. We know that ‘brown bread’ means dead, ‘China plate’ means mate and ‘apples and pears’ means stairs. Little is known about Chinese Cockney Rhyming slang which originated in Glen Waverley, […]