Had a baby and stuff

Friday was a busy day. Opened my birthday presents in the morning and had a baby in the afternoon. Father is resting peacefully and deriving comfort from icepacks and hydrogel breast discs on his grazed nipples. Obstetrician and ward staff are seeking compensation for perforated eardrums. Baby – Holly Nina Hines – is of middling […]

Mother knows best(ish)

Mother knows best(ish) With a baby on the way, it’s time to reflect on the wisdom Mother has passed onto me o’er the years. From cooking and fashion, to how to conduct oneself in photographs and the workplace, it’s safe to say that Mother knows how to navigate the jungle of life. Don’t wear heavy […]

On tennis and bondage

Me. Fox FM radio hosts Fifi Box and Dave Thornton. Doubles legend Todd Woodbridge. A rope and $5,000. A game of Cluedo doesn’t get much more interesting than this. Let’s rewind. In 2012, after two decades of playing tennis, a dicky knee forced me into an early retirement. I hung up the sweat bands and […]

Happy Birthday to me…

On your birthday people may try to sing Happy Birthday to you. You could be in a restaurant, at the family dinner table or crammed into a boardroom with indifferent colleagues. Wherever you are, it’s guaranteed to be awkward. While people sing at you, you must look a complicated combination of humbled, demure, grateful and […]

We had too much to dream last night

Last night my partner had a dream. No, it wasn’t that ‘one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed’, though that would have been good. It was that the entire bedroom was suddenly flooded with sea water! Ocean creatures from near and far were crowding into the bedroom: porpoises, […]

St Petersburg’s Swan Lake – Mother’s review

Mother went to see Swan Lake the other night. Presented by the prestigious St Petersburg Ballet, the production has been called “lavish” and “solid” with “extravagant costumes”. Though apparently the bloke dancers were a bit average. Here are Mother’s thoughts on the production: Food and beverage: The $12.95 steak meal deal she ate beforehand at Crown Casino was good. […]

Stress survey

Don Strasburg is an unfashionable luncheon meat.  Pallid, fatty and looking very much like an ulcerated leg, it’s the Jason Donovan of processed meats. Strasburg – which is actually a melange of ground pork, chicken and beef –  cannot compete with sexy prosciutto or luscious leg ham but long ago, I used to eat it all the time. For some unknown […]