Move over Archie Mountbatten-Windsor

Bring your gold, frankincense and myrrh (and maybe some camembert and sashimi too!). After three quick heave-hos, Edith Rose Hines rocketed into the world – talking – on Monday 13th of May 2019 (business hours). Yes, she was babbling while still half-wedged in the birth canal. Pluto the placenta (about two cm thick and 17.5 […]

No Moore Kelly Eng

*Warning: some nudity involved. Kristina, of Kristina Kingston Photography, was looking for a pregnant woman to photograph. I must have been the only pregnant woman available within a 400,000 kilometre radius of her studio and by default, became the chosen one. Kristina wanted to channel that iconic photograph of Demi Moore from the front cover of […]

Had a baby and stuff

Friday was a busy day. Opened my birthday presents in the morning and had a baby in the afternoon. Father is resting peacefully and deriving comfort from icepacks and hydrogel breast discs on his grazed nipples. Obstetrician and ward staff are seeking compensation for perforated eardrums. Baby – Holly Nina Hines – is of middling […]

5ish things I didn’t know about being pregnant

Pregnancy is a strange thing. I thought it would be like the movies where BAM! I’d feel instantly pregnant and I’d be urging my partner to make me abalone and gum leaf smoothies in the middle of the night and crying at petunias and crescent moons and things. None of these things has happened; I […]